Dear Logan
by XoX-The Scorpion King-XoX
Summary: After finding out she can no longer stay at the mansion, Kate takes th easy way out and writes Logan, her love, a letter. Shadowcat/Logan


The room was dark as Kate Pryde, also known as Shadowcat or Kitty, sat at her desk, her hand cupped around her jaw, her brow set in 'thinking'. Earlier in the day, she had been in the garden with her diary, writing down her innermost thoughts. A dark shadow had clouded her vision and she looked up into the startling yellow eyes of Kurt 'Nightcrawler' Wagner, her friend. Kurt smiled solemnly before he flipped out of the tree and landed beside her. He handed her a piece of paper with Professor Xavier's familiar scrawl on it. As Kurt teleported away, Kate opened the note and read its contents. Tears slipped down her face as her heart sank; she was banished from the mansion due to her apparent lack of control of her new found powers. Since then, she had locked herself in her room in the mansion with nothing but an owl for company.

She felt the door open behind her and knew she had company. She remained in her seat, silent and distant. Two very strong, muscular arms wrapped around her neck and squeezed tight, wrapping her in an affectionate hug. Logan rested his chin on her shoulder and she looked at him, her blue eyes sparkling.

"You bailed on me at dinner," he murmured, kissing her neck. She smiled softly.

"Sorry, I just had a lot of things on my mind. I won't do it again," she replied, rubbing his stubbly jaw. He grinned.

"You better not." He kissed her again, his tongue dancing on her sensitive spot. "Coming to bed my love?"

"Soon, babe," Kate said, hiding her immediate distress. She couldn't tell him that she wouldn't ever see him again because it would hurt him too much and God knew she didn't want to do that.

Logan shrugged and skulked over to the queen size bed, slipping into the covers.

Logan woke up early the next morning to Rogue shaking him. He slowly opened his eyes and saw the white in her hair before he saw anything else. Pulling the blanket over his head, he groaned aloud before Rogue hit him.

"Logan, wake up!"

"What, Rogue?" Logan said, sitting up.

"Kate's gone!"

Logan's jaw dropped open when he noticed she was right. And as he searched through the draws and wardrobe, he noticed all of her possessions were gone too. He spun on his heel and looked Rogue dead in the eye.

"Why would she do this? I know her whole theory on cause and affect but she has no reason for doing this."

Rogue shrugged. Logan growled deeply and spun around again, his hand resting on his temple. Then he noticed a pale yellow piece of paper on the desk, Kate's familiar writing of his name on the front. He picked it up and flipped it open.

_Dear Logan,_

_When you read this, we'll already be miles away from each other. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I do know that every fibre of my being is screaming for you right now. But we both need to concentrate on our lives, and I guess you could call it weakness. Yes, I'm a weak person but when it comes to you, I hope I can be stronger. You're everything I want Logan. And I know you want me too._

_I'm used to apocalypses and the whole saving the world thing, but knowing that I can't be with you when it happens makes my stomach turn. See, I'm scared to talk about my emotions, but I promised myself that I will never hide my feelings for you again._

_Logan, I realize what a cruel bitch I was to you when I first got my new powers and I took advantage of your feelings and pretended that I didn't care. I was weak. I didn't have the courage to admit my feelings even to myself, let alone you, and I don't think I'll ever truly forgive myself for that. So I can understand if you're hesitant about continuing our relationship, even with me being millions of miles away. I just wish I could convince you that my intentions are sincere._

_Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about us these past few hours, and I thought I would try to let you know some of the reasons I think we belong together. All this speculating I've been doing about the significance of the number 10 gave me this idea. I thought I'd give you 10 reasons why we should stay together._

_I haven't organized these, so they're not in any particular order, but they're things that I have been thinking about, Logan. So, anyway, here's my list. The most important are the first two reasons:_

_1. I love you. I love you from the bottom of my heart. I know I haven't always been open about it, especially with you, but I hope someday you will believe me._

_2. You love me. That's a no-brainer, huh? I can't be grateful enough for that. You always were there for me no matter what I did to you. You never stopped loving me, even when I was less than loving to you._

_3. We match perfectly. We're both kinda like superheroes in this world, and we really don't fit well with anyone 'normal'. No one else could understand us better than we do each other._

_4. We're both fighting the good fight, so we have our work in common. Even if I do go a little crazy sometimes—blame the Dragon in me._

_5. We make a good team. We fight so well together because we really know each other's moves and fighting styles. We don't get in each other's way at all. I think we fight even better together than as individuals. Not everyone's all that good at tandem fighting, you know. It's like you always said. It's a dance, and we should dance together. I want to dance with you, Logan. Really dance. Someday, if I come back, I hope you take me dancing. Really slow, sexy dancing, Okay?_

_6. We're survivors. We've been through so much together and have survived some really terrible times, including some times when we were really terrible to each other. Especially, when I treated you badly. I want you to know that I realize that's true, and that I'm sorry for it. I really am. I want to make that up to you, but I can't do it, if you won't give me the chance. Will you please give me that chance, Logan?_

_7. We can count on each other. We've come through for each other when we most needed help, so we know we can continue to depend on each other for comfort and support. I know that sometimes I let you down and wasn't there for you - like when you first told me you loved me. I should have tried harder to understand what was going on, but I was really thrown by your crazy behaviour. Please remember, though, that I did finally tell you my feelings for you. So I have saved you, in a way, Logan, even though I know that you have saved me more often. If we're keeping score, I need you to give me some time to catch up. But I hope that you feel like you can trust me to always do my best to save you if you are ever in trouble and need me. I know that I can count on you to always save me. We've got each other's backs!_

_8. We can share our innermost selves. Our time together at the Mansion has shown me that there is so much more for me to learn about you. You've been around for a long time, Logan, so you have, of course, had a lot of experiences that I know nothing about. But I see that as a major plus. You'll have stories to tell me for years and years, without ever having to repeat yourself. That's really cool! I hope I've proved to you that I can be a good listener, and that I really enjoy your stories, even the gory ones. Please believe that I already know the essence of you - what's at your core. I know your heart and soul, Logan, and I love that deep and central part of you. I certainly believe that you know me better than anyone else does. You've definitely seen the best and the worst in me, and you loved me, anyway._

_9. We can deal with reality. Even though we know each other so well, we haven't scared each other off. We seem to be able to accept our flaws as just being aspects of ourselves that we need to continue to work on, but we can deal with them without feeling the need to give up and run away. At least, not anymore. Somehow, we always seem to find our way back to each other. I wonder if we're just meant to be._

_10. We both deserve some happiness. For me, that means having you in my life. I will do everything I can to help provide you with the happiness that you deserve, too, Logan. I think that you and I could be a family. A loving, happy family._

_So, summing up, if you still feel that you need more time before making your actual decision about staying in a relationship with me then I'll wait for you. But I want you to know that I'm ready right now. I want to be with you, Logan, for as much time as we can have together. Personally, I was hoping that we would be together for years and years, but if the Professor and the other teachers think that I should go and try and control my powers, then I hope we can make the most of whatever time we're given._

_If I've pressured you to get physical, I'm sorry, but I just want you so much, and sometimes I think that's the best way I can show you what I feel for you because you know I'm horrible with words. And that brings me back to my first and most important reason:_

_I love you, Logan._

_I told you once that I believed in you. Now, I'm asking you to believe in me. We can make this work. I know we can. Even if we're thousands of miles away from each other, Logan, know that my heart will always belong to you. You might not trust my heart yet, but I hope that soon, you'll realize that I mean every word. I miss you._

_Yours forever,_

_Kate_


End file.
